You are rigt! Your doubt is also right
Danger awaits those who do namaz
they make a show of it and back out
feeding the poor and meeting their needs
(Quran, Chapter Al maun)
Those hurrying towards mosque for namaz
Wave out me to join them
Lacking courage to go to face before god
I hide my face in shame
The sight of a famished child troubles the
very depth of my eye with its eagle like hurt
Alas! Had just then my fill
The morel eaten with no thought for the child
Has polluted every drop of my blood
I hang my head in shame
Is there enough water to cleans this blemish
In the tank of mosque?
Do have the strength to go forward
Breaking the sound, the wordy images,
Begging their share before the one and only god
Oh god! The truth burns before me
Treading to break the prayer lines
To melt them in furnace
Possibly turn the cascades of fire into
Ploughing the grave yard of my heart
And break the stone inside me
Carve the way towards hope of water
Need be forge the sword against myself
yes your doubt is right, I am a jehadi
Please remember, first against myself
If I conquer, then against you
Yes to your suspicion
On the way to namaaz, they call me
With frantic wave of their hands.
I have not the mettle to face God,
I hide my head in shame.
The eyes of a starving child
Stir the depths of my sight
Oh! I just finished my meal…
I hang my head in front of her !
The bread I have eaten
In disregard of her
Has polluted the whole of my body.
Is there water enough in the masjid pool
To wash this defilement ?
I have to belt along
Breaking down the verbal idols
That demand for partitioning
In front of the Single God.
Am I up to it ?
Truth is all ablaze before me.
I will feed the furnace, oh God, with
The words of the prayers meant for you and liquefy them.
With the leaping flames will I make
Ploughs to till my desert-like heart,
Hammers (mallets) to crack the rock inside me
And craft a route for the water to spring
… If necessary, a sword will I make
And become too its very first target.
Yes, you are right…
I am a jihadi !
Aiming to conquer
Myself first and then You !
KAMALAKAR BHAT, KADAVE